Dealing with toxic people

Q. How do you deal with toxic people (bullies, snobs, control freaks, whiners, etc.) you just cannot avoid?

I'm assuming that,

• you have emphatically stated that you do not appreciate a particular behavior or trait, yet you see no change.
• You have at least a vague idea of why the toxic person is toxic (is it his personality type, or some deep insecurity, or frustration, or some deep rooted belief, etc.)
• You know the triggers (situations, behaviors, time of day, etc.) that could elicit an extreme display of the behaviors you so deeply abhor.

Here are some strategies (listed in no particular order of priority) that could work:

1. Minimize opportunities for the undesirable behavior to show-up.Unless you are a trained psychologist or directly responsible for this individual's output, why bring up more of something that you clearly are unable to handle in the first place.
2. Add someone else into the equation.i.e. someone who could neutralize or at least limit the degree of the toxicity. For instance, if a customer tends to get nit-picky with every single line on your status report, inviting your manager and your customer's manager into the review meeting may help move on and close the meeting on time.
3. Mirror the other person's physical stance for immediate results.
   If your boss is furious and is just hammering on... mimic the body posture, decibel level and breathing rhythm that is being displayed. Now that you both are on the "same page", gradually alter your stance and calm your own breathing to sub-consciously alter your bosses' physical stance as well. Notice that it is very difficult to breathe deeply and slowly and be angry at the same time.
4. Give the person a taste of his own medicine.
   This strategy is similar to the one above, but works when you want to highlight a certain trait or pattern that cannot be done in a single instance. The idea is to hold a mirror in front of this person and pull it back at the right time. Genuinely empathizing with the individual once he has experienced the "Oh $#!+ !" moment could help in fostering a much better relationship in the long run.

Use your own judgement on when to use which approach and detox your life.

A note of caution:
At times you may feel that this individual is successful in spite of such bad behavior. You may be tempted to overlook your better judgement and actually mimic the toxic behavior at display to be successful, just like that arrogant colleague who keeps screaming at the top of his voice and actually gets things done. 

Please avoid this trap !

My answers to interesting questions on Quora